I am a tall(ish), fat, metal loving nerd. Not the socially acceptable kind of nerd... the D&D and MTG playing kind....maybe that's become socially acceptable now. Am I cool now? Is "cool" still within the proper vernacular?
Oh... and I'm emo as FUCK.
Mexicant's Musings
“It’s all I ever wanted to know” It’s true. It hasn’t been very long but all I ever wanted was you. I didn’t know it at the beginning. You were just a cool girl that I was into. It wasn’t until we moved in together and started building a life together that I realized the thing that was missing was you. All the pain, all the anger, all the despair just seem to float away when I was with you. You centered me. You calmed me.
I look back now and realize how much of myself is because of you. You helped mold me into a normal human being. You fixed the cuts and bruises to help me shape me into something worthy of existing in society. You showed me what it meant to care for something with every part of me. Every inch of my fiber was devoted to you.
I messed up though. I took you for granted and forgot how much you meant to me. I let you slip through my fingers and it drove a wedge between us. I see that. I just don’t understand how you could move so fast. How could you give up? How could you tear down a life with little hesitation? Did I not matter to you anymore? Do I not matter now? How could you say you loved me and leave so heartlessly? What happened to forever? What happened to the vows we took? Why did you make me love you if you were going to leave?
You showed me what it meant to finally be happy and then ripped it from me. You’ve left me hollow and alone.
****
this love built up inside me
I thought would last always
once burning wildly
now being doused with pain
no sympathy could ever remove your scars
laid upon me
how could you move on so fast
it’s all I ever wanted to know
the thought of you with another
crushes my soul
I don’t understand
when you stay you still love me
but I guess I know you now better than I did
how could you move on so fast
it’s all I ever wanted to know
for your type of love is a curtain
you will hide behind for the rest of your life
regret will always get you in the end and that is the only piece of mind I have
